Vulnerable moments in parenting do not always have to be about negative feeling or decisions. Vulnerability can also come from a beautiful positive space of love, connection and beauty. A shared moment of sudden realization and appreciation.
Even though positivity is the last thing I am feeling as I sit here eating my way through a couple orders of Chinese food and a bar of Cadbury’s chocolate (thanks mum!), I want to share with you some vulnerable thoughts that occasionally find their way through my mind and out my eyes as tiny tears of gratitude.
Like my daughter. How I noticed today her hair drifting over her ears and sticking out wildly after her nap. She is growing, changing, developing and her hair is telling the story.
Like my son. He is straddling toddlerhood and boyhood. With his own set of tools he can patiently and productively unscrew every screw along the transition strip between rooms. Yet he questions me nightly like a small child if he can have some of mumma’s milk before falling asleep.
Like myself. As I know the woman I once was, strong, confident, enthusiastic about love, learning and experiencing it all, is not the woman I am now. Often tired, recovering from PPD, impatient at times, still strong but often out of stubbornness and learning to daily walk this journey of motherhood and family with grace for myself and others.
Like my husband. Who works so hard at a job not suited to his character so he can fulfill his desire to provide for his home. He reaches for goals that will be captured but the trek is often challenging and filled with waiting for others…when passionate to reach dreams this is often the hardest part.
Transparency. It is refreshing and revitalizing. I wish more of our outer layers could be stripped down, quickly, painlessly so we could truly see each other. Look deeply into each other’s lives, each other’s truths as we are so alike.
Time leaves no one untouched and life changes us all. But in these vulnerable thoughts that swell our hearts with appreciation I am calmed. My chest moves up and down more slowly as my breaths steady. My anxiety is turned from boiling to simmer and I am thankful for the humans around me. Even those who I do not connect with daily as they are out there, the same as me, breathing, changing, growing, noticing others around them and hopefully taking steps forward in their life no matter how slow.
Is there something you have recently been awakened to, noticed or appreciated?
To vulnerable thoughts and the rays of sunshine they bring.