It has been quite a long time since I have graced the pages of my blog, but today I realized how much I miss writing so I wanted to at least throw a few words up on the screen as my little man sleeps contently besides me. We had an eventful morning with a major diaper change and a throwing up of the entire contents of his stomach during that diaper change…lovely. Oh well, bath time ensued and now thankfully he is resting peacefully, his feeding clock counting down the minutes til he needs a fill up!
A week or so ago I began writing out our birth story, so hopefully that should be prepared shortly. It took some time to work it through in my mind and I have realized that it’s only been this week that I can really say it has sunk in. I am a mother. The way I look at my Mum, the things I adore her for, the quirks of hers I see in myself will soon be seen in another. He will see me as I see my mother, am I up for that challenge? My mum is a superhero in my eyes, a woman of such incredible courage and resilience. She knows the answer to every question I have and always says the right things at the right time to make everything all better 🙂 Her voice soothes me and her eyes seem to see deep into my soul and calm any anxieties that may be brewing.
This will now be part of my job description, there may be some difference as I am a mother to a son rather than a daughter but I see the same kind of relationship between Ben and his mom.
I feel exorbitantly blessed to have the opportunity to be a mother to such a beautiful child and can only now understand what people mean when they say parenting is above anything in this life. I have shrunk in my own eyes and wish only for my son to grow into a man of noble character with a heart of passion for the Lord and an eye for those with less than himself. I pray he is respectful of authority and strong in his masculinity, not how the world portrays manhood, but how our Father outlines it. Gracious, honest, a man of God and every standard that sets…a man of Honour.
What a blessed responsibility it is to raise a child. My mind is still so scattered with thoughts, emotions, dreams and fears but as time goes on I know the Lord will guide Ben and I in this beautiful season.
Someone has woken with a vigour and is sucking on his fist with persistance. I feel the feeding clock has reached 0…so I shall love you and leave you for now, hopefully it won’t be as long before my next post!