Today the Lord has been really working in my heart and I have had to be extremely honest with myself. Over the past few months I have been content to take a step away from nursing and give all my time to BENBORI and our home as our travelling plans were not certain. During this time, as I have previously blogged, the Lord was teaching me secrets regarding the role of women, the fulfillment of women and God’s plan for our families. Once again I wrote, shared and taught something I had not actually worked through in my own heart. Yes, I was pondering, praying and understanding the truth behind God’s plan for ladies but now it is becoming my reality. Our child will enter this world in June and at that time I will have to step down for a bit from both bands I am currently a part of. I have put a lot of time, prayer and emotion into both projects and am beginning to feel deep in my heart the pull that many women feel when self and selflessness battle. I never actually dealt with this as I have always been able to plan, dream and reach my selfish goals, but now things will change. My heart is desperate to be a wonderful mother, to be selfless, sacrificing and dedicated fully to all my children and I must say I am thankful I am dealing with the future changes before my emotions can have any effect on our child.
I have recently learnt that this verse sums up all the emotions many women deal with when changing her role to mother “Then He said to the woman (Eve), “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you”. Gen. 3:16 This verses clearly expresses that our curse, as women, is to deal with a constant battle of wanting to control, rule over and supersede our husbands. To be the primary bread winner, to call the shots and to chase our personal dreams above our families. Hmmm. Does this not sound an awful lot like the radical feminist, or ladies claiming equal roles with men. (Please, I am not saying here we are not equal in love from the Lord, blessings, fulfillment or purpose, only different roles, I am very much prowoman…please see previous blogs for more explanation)
Overall I just wanted to share that I can understand why women who have not grasped the role of women would struggle with this truth. It goes against our human nature, it is our tempting sin nature that urges us to think about the ‘me’, the ‘i’ and to take your focus off your role as a wife and a godly mother.
Again, I am so thankful I am learning these principles now and pray the Lord continues to take a wretch like me and redeem me for his purpose. 🙂