Many sobering thoughts have been expanding themselves in my mind this week and as I lay here ready to write a blog entry that I will one day look back and reflect on it is time to share those meditations.
It all started when I burst into tears haha, not unusual for me lately with the work the Lord is doing. I was listening to a sermon by John F Macarthur. He was sharing about the Proverbs 31 woman and how we as women who desire virtue need to set our lives in the mould of Christ’s example. I already felt like a failure in my role as a wife and a woman of the Lord. It is hard to hear your role in life up against this incredible virtuous woman and WE ALL fall short. But that was not my mindset at the time as I was feeling alone in my failings and incredible insufficient in living up to this lady.
I shut off the sermon as I was suddenly hungering for some cake. Yes, I wallowed in my sadness with cheese cake and a hot shower (not simultaneously). As I was eating slow bites of my cake and pondering on my desire to be the best woman for my husband, for my family and for my Lord I was hit. Here I was getting emotional, eating cake, tearing up and wishing I was a better woman all around. Would the Proverbs 31 woman dwell on her short comings or press on to perfection in her Lord. Hmmm, maybe a good start would be to not run to the comfort foods and hot showers but to my Father who will do more for me then feed my emotional upsets. This was the vision my loving God was showing me. Start now Beth. So I threw away the cake, got dressed, opened my journal and my Bible and got started on giving the One who can make a difference the chance to.
He took my thoughts back to an email I had received from a beautiful woman of God who’s life and family I adore. She had encouraged me the previous day with words of comfort and joy, sharing that she was always there for prayer requests. I immediately felt like I was not alone in days like these and praised the Lord for His plan-ahead kind of ways! He then led me into my bedroom bookcase as I was craving a good read. My eye fell on “Bad Girls of the Bible”. A book based on the women in Scripture who did not get it all right. They messed up, some once, some twice, some for a lifetime but I find them much more relateable then the women who got it all right all the time. What a merciful God we have. He showed me that as women, we are not alone in our short comings. And when we are honest in our failures, our sins, our lackings He steps in to forgive and fill those areas.
I have been learning an abundance from these women and encourage you to read the book as well. You can find it here! We ALL fall short and yes our failures often hurt those we love but God is a the God of grace and comfort and will not only uphold us in our times of feeling less then enough but those who are also affected!
Thank you Lord!
And thank you Mum for buying me this book so many years ago!